Welcome to part three of a blog series on identity. Today we’re going to unpack the three key elements needed to discover and live out our authentic self. Embracing these traits is a process of letting go of who we think we should be, while discovering and embracing who God has created us to be. This journey begins with curiosity.
Curiosity:
Curiosity is defined as a strong desire to know or learn something. It often sounds like a question that causes us to discover more about who we are. If we’re wanting to discover and develop who we are, we need to get curious about our past, present, and future.
Past – Messages We’ve Received:
What are the experiences you’ve had that have shaped and influenced who you are, how you live and respond to others; but deep down, you know they’re not part of who you’re truly meant to be.
Things like anxiety, perfectionism, having such a short fuse with those you love, living your life to please those around you, or just a feeling of indifference towards life. Through curiosity we’re able to identify these traits and where they come from, so we can begin to heal and learn healthy ways of coping and responding.
Our past shapes who we are today, but it doesn’t have to dictate our future.
Present – Our Core Self:
We are created in the image of God. At the core of who we are, God has designed us to be calm, confident, curious, creative, playful, adventurous, connected, compassionate, courageous, and stable.
If we’re uncertain of who we are, our value, and what we’re passionate about, we may need to take a moment to get curious and acquainted with who God has designed us to be at our core.
Future – Our Social Identity:
Do you know what your purpose is, where you fit in the world, and what you’re called to? How we live out who we are is a significant part of our identity. True, we don’t get our significance from what we do, but what we do is significant.
The Lord has prophetically spoken into my life bringing guidance, direction, and clarity on what He’s called me to and who He’s created me to be. But these prophetic words, are merely a starting point, a glimpse of His heart and design for my life.
In these moments, curiosity looks like questions and conversations around what He’s revealed. What I need to change in my life to align with what He’s saying. If I took a step forward in faith, what would that look like?
There are many facets to our identity. Our world and who we are is changing with every passing experience and interaction. This means that we need to give ourselves the time and space to figure out who we are, what we need and how we’re going to pivot to have those needs met. Without curiosity, we’ll never truly know who we are.
Compassion:
Compassion is often defined as the sympathetic consciousness of other’s distress, together with a desire to alleviate it.
This means that we recognize the suffering of others and take action to help. Compassion is a tangible expression of love to those who are suffering.
Self-compassion is when we turn that love inwards, towards ourselves. It’s is when we recognize and respond to our own struggles, hurt, and brokenness, and our response brings relief.
Self-compassion doesn’t mean we’re wallowing in what did or didn’t happen. It’s the process where we redefine the impact that our past has on us. It means we come to a place of acceptance about our past and experiences and take responsibility for our future. How we’re going to live our lives, and who we’re going to become.
Here’s what self-compassion looks like:
- Acknowledging what has impacted, shaped, and defined who you are today and where you are in this moment.
- Accepting it’s part of your story without judgement.
- Responding in love towards yourself to bring about healing, freedom, and a good strong healthy personal and social identity.
Compassion is empathy in action. It starts with non-judgemental acceptance and responds with love in action. It’s loving ourselves, so that we can effectively love others and fulfil our purpose.
Courage:
Courage is defined as the ability to do something that frightens one. Strength in the face of pain or grief. Courage is not the absence of fear, uncertainty or vulnerability. It’s doing something despite the momentary fear you may experience.
Walking in our true identity and authentic self take courage, and a lot of it. Especially when it means you may experience rejection from those who don’t understand, or loss of friendships that no longer align with God’s heart for you.
But courage leads us to who He’s created us to be. Despite the fears and sacrifices we’ll surely face along the way. As we step out into new and uncharted territory. As we dare to live, be and respond differently that what our hurtful past experiences dictate.
Despite the fears we may face in the journey of vulnerably living out our authentic selves, that we find true belonging and connection with others. Nothing compares to the joy and peace that comes when you are being your authentic self – when who you are and what you do aligns with what’s on the inside.
Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or in dread of them, for the Lord your God is the One who is going with you. He will not desert you or abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
The Hebrew meaning for the word ‘strong’ refers to a determination to lay hold of something, or having our hearts fixed and focused.
The Hebrew meaning for the word ‘courageous’ refers to boldness despite our emotions.
Being strong and courageous means that we walk with boldness and strength holding fast to who God says we are and who He’s called us to be; despite what our eye may see, and our emotions may tell us. We walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7).
Curiosity, compassion, and courage are active, they’re not passive.
Each element requires a response. The question is, will you respond?
Will you rise up and be a man and woman of courage?
Will you have the courage to believe who you are and start living it out when you don’t feel it.
Will you have the courage to act and break negative cycles in your life, family, thinking patterns, and self-talk. To put up boundaries that need to be there, because you’re worthy.
Will you have the courage to be your authentic self. To find your place in the world and fulfil your purpose. To not settle for anything less than what God has for you and what He has called you to.
Will you have the courage to choose courage and discover the depth of your worth and uniqueness, and to show it to the world.