I would wish that all of you could live unmarried, just as I do. Yet I understand that we are all decidedly different, each having a special grace for one thing or another. So let me say to the unmarried and those who have lost their spouses, it is fine for you to remain single as I am
1 Corinthians 7:7-8 (TPT)
We often think of a single person as someone young and unmarried. Instead, singleness is defined as not having a spouse, so whether you are dating or engaged, you’re still considered single. Singleness not only includes the young unmarried person but those who have lost a spouse either through divorce or death. Some are single by choice and others by circumstances.
Some of us will spend more of our lives single than married. We’re born single, and most of us will end our lives single. Yet, there is still a greater emphasis placed on marriage, especially within the church and from previous generations. As singles, this overemphasis not only creates false romantic illusions about married life, it often pulls our attention away from God’s call and purpose for us as individuals. The same call and purpose we are to fulfill whether we are single or married. This stirs feelings of dissatisfaction, hopelessness, insecurity, and a host of emotions because it draws our attention to the lack in our lives instead of the blessing. To what we don’t have, instead of what we do have.
It’s hard to be content and embrace where we are when the message we receive from everyone is that singleness is a season of waiting for a spouse. Wait patiently, wait contently, but just wait. As if our purpose and ultimate calling is found and will be reached once we’re married.
Please hear my heart, marriage is a beautiful institution designed by God, and we’re not devaluing its importance or significance. But when we overemphasize its importance and significance, we devalue our unique individual call that God has placed on our lives. Both marriage and singleness is a gift, one is not more valuable than the other.
Many singles, both young and old, desire and yearn to be married or remarried. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that desire. It’s God-given and the way He designed us. But we must never let our longing for marriage and the absence of a spouse stir feelings of spiritual inadequacy and keep us from doing what God has called us to do.
I know that singleness is not an easy season for many. You long to share your life with someone, be unconditionally loved and accepted. Perhaps you feel like your life is on hold, or if you’ve lost a spouse, you wonder who you are and what your purpose is without them.
Singleness does not mean purposeless or meagreness. We all have a function to fulfill in the Kingdom of God no matter our age or marital status. Here are a few biblical examples of women, both young and old, who were spiritually active and fulfilled their calling while single.
Miriam was the first woman to be called a prophetess and played a significant role in the spiritual life of Israel.
Miriam the prophetess, Aaron’s sister, took the tambourine in her hand, and all the women went out after her with tambourines and with dancing.
Exodus 15:20
Anna was widowed at a very young age and devoted her life to serving God instead of remarrying.
And there was a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was advanced in years and had lived with her husband for seven years after her marriage, and then as a widow to the age of eighty-four. She did not leave the temple grounds, serving night and day with fasts and prayers.
Luke 2:36-37
Even Phillip, the evangelist, had four single daughters who were prophetesses. They were actively flowing in the gifts and ministry of the Spirit.
Now this man had four virgin daughters who were prophetesses.
Acts 21:9
Friend, if you ever feel alone, devalued, marginalized, or spiritually inferior because you’re not married, remember the Lord is your covenant-keeping partner, defender, and redeemer. He has a divine purpose and destiny for you to fulfill, and He considers you valuable and significant. You are dearly loved and utterly adored by Him.
For your husband is your Maker, Whose name is the Lord of armies; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth.
Isaiah 54:5
PAUSE – PRAY – PROGRESS
- How do you feel about being single?
- Who are the people putting pressure on you to get married? Bring them before the Lord and forgive them.
- What feelings or lies are hindering you from boldly walking in your calling?